In general, the world isn’t all peaches and cream. You probably know that, but now it’s time to further state the following obvious facts.
Everyone is Out for Themselves
Nobody cares about you more than oneself. Man is inherently selfish that will do things for money or pleasure/feeling good. Even when one gives charity one mostly does it for ones own feeling of self-righteousness rather than for noble motives. A case in point is to see how you are after giving money either to a faker or a mentally deranged, drug-addicted ingrate. Just saying.
Also, if you aren’t perceived as someone that someone can utilize and serves no purpose, see how fast people don’t contact you. Also, pay attention when people unfriend you on Facebook and Linked-In, as that makes a huge statement considering you’re not even worth being kept on a superficial level.
Most people have their own agenda, and will not hesitate to pump you for free information in order to do things themselves “in-house” or give the work to a competitor, or to leave you “high and dry” by leaving to another company without telling you first.
People Will Be in a Rush to Get Things from You, But in No Rush to Do Things for You
In all my years I have yet to see the above not be true. I would get multiple emails a day from people looking for something from me, but when I ask for a favour in return, either people don’t reply at all or they reply only a few days later. People are “always busy” when it doesn’t serve their best interest. That’s the way things are.
It’s better to either not be in such a rush to do things for others, and/or make it worth the other person’s while to rush something out for you. Most of the time this works, but in certain cases even that doesn’t work.
People Only Call You When They Need You. Otherwise You Are Dead to Them
As stated above, people use other people when it best serves their goals. Rare is the person that merely wants to see how you are. Why do you think people you visit or call ask you “how can I help you?” Simply because they know that there are few reasons you would otherwise come to them.
There are countless examples I can throw, from the time my alma mater practically ceased contact with me when they found that I was laid off from my first real job after 8 months (and therefore wasn’t the success they hoped due to this bump in my road career-wise), to the time that people I would have worked for (and knew personally) stopped contacting me when, for very valid reasons, I stayed at my current place of employment, and didn’t even contact me when my own son was sick and sadly passed away at a very young age.
While there are the few out there that seem genuinely concerned about you, the majority don’t. Get used to it.
People Will Take Advantage of You, and Even Use You, if You Let Them. Learn to Say No and Stand Up.
In every society this holds true. One thing I found was that certain clients, “friends” and co-workers exploited my nice-guy persona and my inability to say “no” to the point where I was feeling over-stressed in “having” to get everything done at the same time, for no pay. We all need to become more firm and say “no” to certain things to the dismay of others. Also remember that no matter how much you try to please everyone there will always be someone not pleased with you. Get used to it.
Promises Are Made to be Broken. Get it in Writing!!!
If I had a nickel for each and every time that someone made me a broken promise, I’d be rich. Talk is cheap. Unless something is written on a piece of paper with a signature, someone’s word is useless.
More often than not, whenever I mentioned the word “money” or “contract” I found people run away faster than the speed of light!
Need Instant Cash? Scare the Pants Off Someone!
More places will sue than follow through. There is a big business in scaring the pants off of people to give cash away. Don’t be stupid and naive by letting those thieves take away your hard-earned money.
There’s something called legal extortion, where companies go after smaller clients claiming that they need to protect their own clients. One such company recently went after me in the amount of $1,130 and, after speaking with a lawyer about it, was advised to ignore such a letter, as for them to escalate the case further into small claims would cost them more than what I’m allegedly being sued for.
However, there are a small number of people that will get scared and pay the money right away. It’s this kind of fear that financially justifies such extortion.
Two Kinds of People: Those That Get Caught and Those That Don’t
In today’s world, you will be hard-pressed to find too many workers with moral integrity. Therefore, those that got caught were simply too unlucky. If nobody sees the tree falling, then it didn’t fall. That’s today’s mentality. Get used to it.
Nobody wants to be held accountable
Whenever something bad happens, nobody did anything. That’s just how it is. Also, in the event when someone does get trouble, there’s a sense of self-satisfaction from others “well, at least it’s not me.”
While There Are Some Things Money Can’t Buy, Money Can Buy Most Things (Unless, Someone Simply Cannot Stand You)
Don’t think money isn’t a huge motivator. It is. If you want to hire someone’s services, there’s usually a price tag attached.
There are some people in this world that stand up to their values instead of the price tag, but those people are few and far between.
Numbers Almost Always Are Exaggerated
When numbers are brought out in the news, there’s usually a motive. Generally numbers are over- or under-exaggerated in order to make the locals feel good about themselves.
- Toronto doesn’t have 250k Jews, maybe 20-25k tops.
- Wikipedia skews numbers in order to keep the real numbers classified.
- Not knowing something generally will make you overvalue something. A 4-5 year old child will think that his/her parents are at least 100 years old.
- Countless more examples.
Many People Will Talk Behind Your Back
In the real world, people will talk behind your back. They will never tell you about you straight to your face. The only people I know that told me the cold hard truth were my parents, my wife, and my academic teachers/professors. Nobody else.
People have their own incentive to tell things straight up to you. Otherwise they’d rather not as to not lose face. Most people are wimps.
People will also say things behind your back, sometimes to hurt you, in order to improve their own self-image. Therefore, watch your back.
Too Many People Are Full of S**t
Many people never “made it” in their real lives, and in today’s day in age of identity theft and RPG, it’s easier for people to more comfortably inflate their egos in the name of embellishment. More people are full of hot air, and the trick is to see how they perform under real life tests.
Do Not Complain to Other People
This leads to one of two things: Either people look at you negatively because you are a negative person, or people will take that information to apply for themselves. Nobody cares about you, they only care about themselves.
Watch Out for Credit Hogs
There are people that will wrongfully take credit for your hard-earned work. You need to stand up for yourself, even if it might cost you your job, or else you will always get recognition taken away from you.
Agenda. Everyone has an agenda.
Never take things at face value. People that tell you something are doing it for a reason and in some cases manipulating you to do what they want. Very few in real life do things because they are genuinely good. In this world, people do things because they want something in return.
People will talk behind your back. They will never tell you about you straight to your face.
In my experience, the only people that told me things “straight up” were my parents, wife, teachers, and Sepharadim. My parents and wife have to live with me, and teachers usually were paid $$$ to do so. Unless it’s someone that has an interest in saying things straight-up to you, people will say things behind your back. Don’t think everything is so cozy.
The older we get, the more responsibilities we have at work, with family, and everything in between. I have personally yet to meet someone in their 20’s or 30’s that’s bored. On one hand that’s good, but oftentimes we all need a break once in a while.
Next week I will be covering some tips on when applying for a job. Stay tuned.